Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
