I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
