I have demons in me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize