2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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