Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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