Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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