You were right. It hurts to walk today.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
a search helicopter?!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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