so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
