I was born with a shot glass in my hand
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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