so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
