The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
