When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she told me i tasted like america
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
