plz talk dirty to me
i barfeds in our rink
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
