you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
