Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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