Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
