I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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