Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?

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(410): View more from Maryland

i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.

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(425): View more from Washington

im bored tell me something entertaining

(206): View more from Washington

You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.

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(631): View more from New York

I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?

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(703): View more from Virginia

I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal

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(518): View more from New York

I want a grilled cheese and an IV

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(813): View more from Florida

So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.

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(716): View more from New York

What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?

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(415): View more from California

You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.

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