Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
