and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
