cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
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