Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Holy shit dude........stairs
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
