White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
