Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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