worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I need a beard to bite.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
