is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
