This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
