before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize