Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
