She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
