I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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