But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
