you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
