he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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