quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
