Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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