No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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