It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize