Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize