If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
