come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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