The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
