why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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