2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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