I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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