I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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