My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
