He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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