Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
