i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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