Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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