just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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