Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
