To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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