Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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