yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize