i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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