Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
