we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
