we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
