dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
