that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
