I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
