never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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