haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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