Don't you send me to vm
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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