I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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