I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
