it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize