She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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