this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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