We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
