i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
OPIZZABONMYDICK
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
