Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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