You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
