singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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