She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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