what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
