Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
